Scorpio Soul Search

An outlet for my thoughts, imagination and creative feelings!


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Love Facets

“Don’t take that carrot, I just said they are looking fresh, we had carrots yesterday” words spoken in a strict tone made me look up to find out the speaker and the spoken to. But pressed for time to rush home and begin the routine, I just focussed on the vegetables at hand.

“Look at these mangoes, they have ripen perfectly without any blemish” Words and the female voice drew my attention again and this time I couldn’t avoid looking. The man started to pick mangoes and the harsh voice admonished him, “I just said they are better than what we bought , didn’t tell you to take them. We need only potatoes, onions and tomatoes. Choose the onions which are smaller in size, they are the best and half a kilo tomatoes are enough. And put all of them in one basket, don’t go and search for another basket” Words fell out of her mouth in succession without care and in the severe order.

Being left to do my shopping on my own from the first year of marriage, I always looked longingly at the couples doing shopping together. Here the elderly couple with the reversal role of husband selecting the vegetables with wife just giving the advice was new and amusing to me. After a few seconds looking for a retaliation from the man and not seeing even a flutter of eyelids, I cursed my manners and averted the gaze. Quickly buying the vegetables I left from there.

Two days later, I was in our neighbourhood medical shop to buy a ear drop. Hearing the same voice giving instructions, noticed the couple again.”Just get the tablets for three days, don’t buy whatever is written by doctor. How many times I have to tell you this? Nothing will happen if one time you don’t take them”, intoned the voice.

As if it is a regular occurrence, the medical shop personnel just concentrated on their work and I was the only other customer. Once again I searched the man’s face for an angry response which is what I would have got if I have behaved liked that old lady., but in vain. No change in the expression and he just paid for the medicines as told by the shop guy and left with his wife.

Both their faces with the opposite expressions keep coming to my mind although I haven’t seen them after that incident in the pharmacy. A week later, on a Sunday after my walk I went to my usual place in the garden and found the uncle sitting alone in the adjacent bench. As my regular routine I started doing the stretches while being aware of his presence nearby and once finished sat to do Pranayama.

“Hi”, heard the voice before I closed my eyes and turned to look at him who was giving me the best smile he can conjure. The overt personality of mine took over and with full warmth I paid attention which always relaxed the other person and helped them to open up to me. The following conversation  ensued between us. 

He understood that I was curious to know about them and how unorthodox it looks the way his wife speaks to him in public. I apologised for showing my emotions so plainly and how it is not just inquisitiveness that wanted me to know about them but also to help in anyway possible. He accepted my views with the understanding that will come only with the experience how to separate the chaff from the grains over the years.

“She was not like this, he began, “she used to be the most calm and cool headed against my tensed nature, in the years after our marriage. I will just earn the money and leave everything to her as I have understood the ability of her in managing things with a more organised and unflustered way. ” As he spoke, he went into a trance reliving the moments of the past.

” We had the perfect life as life can be with each one understanding our specific roles and not trying to step into others shoes unnecessarily. We have two children, a boy and a girl, which added to the perfection and carried the sail smoothly till my retirement”.

He shook his head as he returned from his reverie forcefully as if the picture he was seeing started shaking and wanting it to clear.  The expressionless face returned with it set features and he looked at me in the eyes and said matter of factly ” A week after my retirement two years back, I had been diagnosed with a hole in the heart and some genetic conditions which doesn’t allow for any surgery. I can carry on as long as the medicines can help and ” he showed his hands towards the sky ” the boss decides”

I felt so sad with the affection I had developed for him in the few moments of meeting him. In my mind i was trying so many things to say about the advancement in medical world and how he can cure anything, etc but the words were blocked by my brain which knows very well that all these are empty words and will only be uttered for the sake of consoling.

So I just looked at him blankly but as if he got wind of my underlying confusion trying to link his ill health with the bitter behaviour of his wife, he spoke out “She couldn’t accept my health situation since she always had control of our lives and in her inner mind blames me for bringing this on our lives. Along with her love for me and this mental block to accept the helplessness, she started to over control tiny details and want to feel secured. So we go through these motions of our daily lives with she having the charge and I follow her orders. This is a way of showing her rebellion against my health condition and as I can sense her love behind this bitterness, I simply go along”

He tried to smile and suddenly getting a spark, he looked at me and said, it is like the new lovers who don’t care who is around when they are madly in love, we also don’t worry who watches us as we too are madly in love with each other!”

He was so happy with the newfound way of looking at their life, he started towards his home energetically to share it with his love of life.

I sat there for quite a long time thinking about the different dimensions of love!

Wear the love goggles to see the world differently! Not all love look the same! 

Love!!!!! Live!!! Laugh!!!!

 

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Food for thought!

Food is good! One of the greatest motivators from Pavlovian days 😉 For some it is the fuel for energising the body and for some it is the reason why the body is existing – eating to live and living to eat – we see it all. 😀  

Born in Kerala, brought up in Tamil Nadu, married in Mumbai and living in Bangalore helped me to taste the local foods of at least four states. I equally love the coconut based dishes of God’s own country, Idly, Dosa and Rasam of  Chennai, Pav bhaji, Pani puri, Chats and Dabeli of Mumbai and Akki roti, Gojju avalakki, Bisibele bath and Mysore pak of Karanataka. International influence brought pasta, pizza, noodles, burger and dark chocolates into our lives adding variety to satisfy the palette.

 Some foods linger in your thought for long and some best forgotten as soon you have eaten. In every tradition and culture, food plays the foremost part and every ritual is placed around it. In India, every festival has items to be prepared using the seasonal ingredients available during that time.

Though I like the concept of consuming the food, I tried to distance myself from the preparation part of it. Being a vegetarian and now turned Vegan, my experiments with food all happened by spending more time on looking at the ingredients carefully. Health conscious family added a list of staples to be part of our diet and millets and pulses became our regular intakes. Learnt to make a lot of millet based dishes and loved the lightness along with the great taste they provided.

 So I moved on from a person who can’t differentiate toor dal (pigeon pea) from moong dal ( green gram) to a confident chef sharing pictures of my preparations and recipes. Baking a cake once a while brought out another dimension to my new found passion and  helped to feed my family the vegan version without searching too much. 

 The options of eating out, take aways and home delivery are so tempting and widespread presently. We prefer enjoying our breakfast in a calm and serene ambience on a holiday and keep scouting for new places to experience.

A life journey comprises of eating good food, living healthy and laughing more! Let’s Just Do It! 🙂


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Spring back

It has been months since I wrote anything…its like being on life support and wanting to breath freely on my own…soon. The ‘soon’ was playing a peekaboo with me and I was being on a wild chase to catch it! Today I made a high jump dropping all the weights pulling me down and had an encounter with it. Here I am with my laptop and eager to dig and spill out the thoughts piled up on the inside for so long.

First and the foremost one, which was the reason why I could shed the things weighing me down and told me to ‘just do it’ immediately floated on top.

Last week I was traveling on the metro – the suburban rail transport which made the travel to different parts of the city hassle free – and I needed to drop the coin in the slot to get the exit gates swing open for me to leave the station. While entering to travel in the train, you carry the coin with u after placing it on the reader but to leave u should drop it to get the exit portal open. I hesitated a second while doing it as that moment brought forth a lot of thoughts.

If I drop the coin only the barrier will open nevertheless I want to hold on to the coin fearing the unknown, here the possibility that the gate may not open and I would have lost the coin which is the key to open it. Though in this scenario, it is possible to get the desired outcome with the interference of the security, I might have embarrassed myself in front of all if that happened. Although the action seemed to be a routine for many, it needed a lot of coordination between a lot of my muscles. The same instance I drop the coin with my right hand holding my bag on the left, my eyes should focus on the turnstile to swing open, and that moment my legs should move the body to go through the small passage quickly to come out on the other side without hindering the person behind me whose hand is already on the coin slot.  There is no time to reflect, still I am here hesitating. A second later I am out unscathed with the mind locked on to this thought. 😀

In life there are many a situations where we want to hold on to something doubting the outcome if we dropped them. But unless we lose them we won’t get to experience the new things waiting for us. And it’s not the mind alone which has to let them go, but our body also should cooperate to move further. If we do that early in life, it will be far simpler and easier to do. Life without those burdens weighing us down, will be lighter and guilt free to make the most of it with the short time we are given on this earth.

Think about it! See you soon – really soon this time – with another thought!

Live life lighter!!!!

 


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7 MONSTERS SLAIN IN 2017

Time of the year to recollect, reflect and rejoice. Here I am with my analysis.

A great year personally as I recount today.  Not that everything had changed over the year or the planets have aligned perfectly to ensure that things happened only in the way I expected them to be. Nah! nothing of that sort 🙂

Rather, I have revamped my outlook to sharpen the focus on what is important and cut off the rest. To filter the noise and hear the music; To trim the frills and appreciate the design; To quieten the drama and get the essence; Overall, some monsters were slain on my way to the cloud nine!

Let me mention the 7 areas where I gained by losing and arrived a positive balance.

No one but you: First and foremost, I chased the ghost out of my mind that someone is bothered about what I am doing. Reality hit me big time that it is absolutely my race and how I run fully depends on me and me alone.

Yes! There may be comments on what others see but what you project is what they will see. Hence I spent my energy to do , rather than wasting it on worrying about what someone else is going to say.  Action speaks its own words and it has shown its effect!

Decisiveness: Empathising and taking good care not to hurt anyone with my words or deeds are my strengths. However, in some instances it put me in a tight spot and frustrated whenever they are in conflict with my personal interests. Decided to be firm in my dealings and conveyed things decisively instead of being in dilemma forever wondering how it will affect others.

With this change I have saved myself from a lot of unnecessary brooding I do before any decision and directed my mind for more productive works 😈. Still working on this but at least  feel I found the key to this room!😉

Experience Matters: I am usually bothered a lot about the results and will plan and replan how to do a thing and in that will totally forget how to enjoy the experience of doing something. This actually drained my energy and in the end the expected won’t come as well. This attitude of mine stems from the perfectionist in me. This year I consciously took out the anticipation from the equation.

Because I was not tensed about the outcome, I could improve on the efficiency part, resulting in better performance. Meanwhile enjoyed the experience too which is what actually matters anymore! ☺️Try it with your exercise regime without looking regularly at the weighing machine, you will understand what I mean 😉

Brush aside the unbidden: Many a times, we get some extra along with whatever  we wished for and they take our attention away from the blessings we have received. Decided to sever them with a clean cut from my focus. Rejoiced on my blessings and released the complaints to float away far off .

Having a beautiful house overlooking a garden is a blessing while the amount of dust to clean daily is a small discomfort, right? Having a Healthy and active Family is a fortune while piling up dirty laundry can be dealt with, right?😅🙄👹

Reaction ok, not overreaction : This one really needed a lot of practice😁. I had this habit of reacting on the spur of moment which always caused heart burn and regret later. I have brought about 80% control on this pattern of behaviour and working on towards 100% percent😬😷.

I really enjoy the happiness it brings to me as the amount of regret and guilt I used to feel after flying off the handle have reduced. Wish me the best!

Fear of unknown: This is one big monster I needed to slay for long which I could do this year. The known devil was scaring me about the unknown angel and preventing me from embracing changes.

Somehow I freed myself from its clutches, Oh man! Am I not a happy being now🤗💃🏻

Calm while the Storm rages: Accepting Murphy’s law. When I am aware that something is going to go wrong, instead of panicking, I go for damage control. When my nerves are straining and temper flaring, I practice deep breathing and direct myself to do the essential. Training the mind to search for the positivity in the whole thing how much ever minuscule it may be.

Once I found the point of positivity, I keep blowing it big to help me swim to the shore. Hoping not to face many storms in future and find calm waters forever YOLO!!!!

Wishing and aspiring that these monsters don’t rear their ugly heads again in 2018😃 and if so grant me more power to slay them again!💪💪

Wishing an amazing , prosperous , joyful and healthy

 2018 to all of you!!!!! 💐💐

MAKE MERRY TODAY and EVERYDAY. 

Love and peace!!!

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Ultimate Goal

“You are born here to be happy”

“Winning or losing, Life is a celebration”

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Everyday, we face a lot of situations which make us feel happy, sad, angry, upset, overwhelmed, depressed or confused too sometime. Whatever may be the reaction, it is very important that as soon as possible, we return back to our basic objective of our life, i.e, being happy. 

If we allow any other feelings that I mentioned above to take over the whole day, the knots will be tightened and detangling will be difficult, which is against our human nature. We need to find the ends quickly and be free and fine at the end of the day. When we focus on the positive things, however small they may be, it will blow up soon to mask the failings. It is also true that happiness is communicable and we make the world a better place to live for others by we being happy. 

As per my understanding and experience so far, life is a balancing act, day in day out. People who have understood this and took control at the earliest, find peace and happiness in their life. Success follows them since they make it happen in the way they desire it. The happy person can improve life not only for himself but also for others by spreading his positive energy on them.

Our good health is the basic canvas on which we draw the picture of our life; I felt that to obtain a healthy mind and body, happiness is the key which comes only when we have the control over our emotions, in turn our reactions to situations. Hence, although at times I am overcome with sadness, anger, regrets and resentments, I don’t want to allow them to run amok forever. I take a decision, shift the gear and turn my focus on the infinite blessings of my life and force / fake a smile initially which soon turn into the natural feeling. 😊☺️

I am neither a saint nor can become one 😌😉 but totally unwilling to live in perpetual misery as I sincerely believe my life is a gift and I should cherish the moments as merrily as possible. Because That is my ‘ultimate Goal’ 👍😊

My plain and simple suggestion is……whenever you are feeling low, change gear, focus on the positive, fake a smile and ‘Be natural self’ again, ‘coz, we are ‘Born Here To Be Happy’ 😁😀😃

Happy Weekend to all!!!!🎊🎊🎉🎉💐💐


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Long Nose

It is not the Pinocchio type olfactory lobe extension I am talking about here.

I have a strong sense of smells catching them from afar as if my nose extends its length every day. This acute sensory organ makes me cringe if the odour is unpleasant although my companions at the time are in ignorance and bliss. While my hearing and seeing abilities are not-so-awesome to boast off, I am blessed with this extraordinary power to grab the whip of any fragrance from a distance more than I wish to.

Have mercy on me when I am in the lift with people who have no clue that wearing the same t-shirt every day for their workout does not give them some scoring point against those who don’t exercise at all. They are totally in comfortable embrace with their sweat and body odour that they just don’t want to part with them by washing their fitness clothes, which burn my olfactory nerve till it is ashen.

On the other extreme, I also will be greeted by the concoction of fruity / floral perfume residues left back by people who sprayed every inch of their body and garments on them with deodorant, body spray, hair spray, scented spray whatever else is made available to them.

This robust sensation sometimes fills my brain so much that my other senses are numb to enjoy the beauty presented to my sight or the intelligentsia offered to my ears. While it is assaulting me to the point of  fainting, my family will be totally cool and clueless about it. 😛

Even though the weather is so pleasant to keep the windows open to enjoy the breeze, I always drive keeping them shut fearing some strong smell troubling me. When traveling in other’s car / taxi it will be a double whammy if the fabric or the interior of the car smelt bad (to my nose ) and the windows were closed!

This acute sense of odour some inherit or have due to their DNA structure is called, ‘HYPEROSMIA”, Wikipedia informs me! 

So be aware that my “long nose” is not similar to Pinocchio’s 😉 and sincerely hope this makes sense to you all 😀

Between eyes


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Winged Days

An unhurried sense of time in itself is wealth – Anonymous

Why the days fly so fast?Why can’t they slow down a bit? Minutes vanish when I blink and turn into hours and days. Days chase weeks and weekends away. Before even I  am sure of the current date, another month is here already. Is time playing with me only or with all?

I wake up on a Friday and turn over to see the Sunday evening. Monday opens up with the blues and soon Thursday is ringed in with the green bells. Either week days or weekends, all those 24 hours run like a marathoner and reach their end line in a flash.   Recollecting the accomplishment of a day or a week or a month is so foggy that it is unclear whether I achieved it this year or in the year before 😉 My memory is always not that strong  😛

I like my days to be unhurried and relaxed enough to do the things I want to do. It should be long enough for me to complete them and feel a sense of achievement before I hit the bed. This blurry rush of things and always doing some chores as routine life demands are not what I planned my days to be. 😦

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But I also know, I am the pilot of my days and should  manoeuvre it in the direction I choose to travel. It is the speed which I need to take control first! 😀

More mastery and  command over the clock soon!