I really can’t conform well to anything that is expected from me for being a woman, wife, mother, daughter, employee or employer, etc…I just can’t settle down into a routine because it is convenient and conforms to the norms of my life. I can’t even continue using a product because it serves its purpose well..I need to try new things, I have to do things in my way. These thoughts about conformity came to my mind and explained my restlessness sometimes clearly, because of two things that happened in the last couple of days.
The demise of Selvi. J.Jayalalithaa and the continuous barrage of messages in social media brought about the circumstances under which she was pushed into politics, shown with clarity that she refused to conform with the edicts at the time of her mentor MG Ramachandran’s funeral procession. She totally listened to her heart and did what it told her rather than just accepting whatever was expected from her and staying away from the controversy it had created. That incidence steeled her and paved the way for her rise in the political scenario. It also characterised her style of dealing with people around her. Though everyone criticised her behaviour, she refused to bow down and conform.
Similarly, our son with whom I always have difficulty in making him conform to the societal demands, unambiguously informed that he is not going to be part of a play because I want him to or his friends are participating. It is not his cup of tea, he said without hesitation and with a maturity, beyond his age.
This set the wheels in motion for my thoughts and enabled me understand the unexplained heaviness I feel sometimes in my heart. Especially when I don’t want to do something and not able to say it aloud, hesitating to topple the fine balance. It gave me an insight into the hundreds of hours I have spent to answer the question which doubted my ability in the areas of my disinterest and the guilty feeling I have associated with it. Also the lament I have directed on my self for being lazy rather than relating to it as my nonconformity to the expectations.
A woman, is expected to cook, care for all around her, dress nicely, be patient, never complain, bear the pain silently….
A man is expected to do well in his career, earn in millions, look smart, handle things with a smile, be strong, be selfless, be understanding……
A child, is expected to be soft spoken, obedient, study well, understand values, never talk back, be clean, responsible…….
No, I just don’t conform very well, Do you??